Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize