I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
