I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize