bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
