you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
