I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
