its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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