No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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