It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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