I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
