I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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