I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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