dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
