I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
