I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just invented taco cereal.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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