Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
