How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
