i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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