So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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