Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
