When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
