# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
