sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
