I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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