Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
