dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
