i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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