I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize