so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
