sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
