Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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