and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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