so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
