So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We need to feng shui this bitch.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
