like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
