Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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