sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
