"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
