tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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