Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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