the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
