we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Houston, we have a squirter
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
