what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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