Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
