angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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