So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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