Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
