Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
