my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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