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go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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