He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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