If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
