I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
