you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think my nap took me to another dimension
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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