Your tits are I can't wait for
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You are a genius and a whore.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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