I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
